Slow Mornings, Fast Days: My Ritual for Calm Leadership

For the past five months, I’ve been doing something I now call “coffee and games,” and honestly, it has become one of the best habits I’ve picked up as a leader, a developer, and a human who sometimes wakes up already thinking about the calendar for the day.

It started when I noticed the early signs of burnout creeping in — that quiet overwhelm that hits the moment you open your calendar or glance at your notifications. I realised my mornings were starting with everyone else’s urgency instead of my own presence. So one day, instead of diving straight into emails and messages, I got up, got dressed, made the bed, made a cup of coffee… and I sat down to play a game for twenty minutes. Just twenty minutes. Nothing dramatic. And somehow, it shifted everything.

My “coffee and games” session depends entirely on what I’m currently playing on my PS5. Sometimes it’s the absolute chaos of Assassin’s Creed Origins. Sometimes it’s the cozy, slow burn of Stardew Valley. And other days, I’m building questionable museums in Two Point Museum and hoping no virtual visitors catch on to my architectural crimes. It truly depends on the mood.

But what surprised me was what this small ritual does to my brain. It gives me a soft start — like easing into a pool instead of being thrown into the deep end. My workdays are usually filled with long stretches of focus time, context-switching, decision-making, and leading teams. My brain is “on” for hours. That gentle 20–30 minutes of play helps me warm up for it. It wakes me up without jolting me. It gives my brain just enough stimulation to move from sleep mode into “we’ve got this” mode.

Past me would have felt guilty about this — sitting and playing games in the morning? Before I’ve even checked my messages? She would have been horrified. But somewhere along the way, I realised that what energises other people doesn’t necessarily energise me. When my day starts with a wall of notifications and a flood of urgent things that happened overnight, my stress spikes before I even open my laptop. I become reactive instead of intentional. Irritated instead of curious. Fast instead of thoughtful. (And I don’t mean drama — just the natural “life is busy” things that unfold when you work with teams across multiple time zones and responsibilities.)

Now, I start from a place of calm. It’s the difference between showing up centered and showing up frazzled. Between responding and reacting. Between leading with clarity and leading with clenched teeth.

“Coffee and games” has oddly become part of my leadership style. When I give myself a moment to settle, I show up more empathetically. I make better decisions. I listen deeply. I’m less likely to let urgency dictate the tone of the day. I’m more patient. And because I feel grounded, I can hold space for others without feeling depleted.

It’s funny — I used to think productivity was about starting faster. Now I know it’s actually about starting better.

And this small ritual, this quiet little pocket of time with a controller in hand and a cold coffee next to me, has taught me the value of a gentle beginning. Sometimes the best thing you can do for your team, your work, and your own mind is to take twenty minutes for yourself before the world asks you for anything.

Who knew that Assassin’s Creed and iced coffee would be part of my leadership toolkit? But here we are — and honestly, I’m not planning to stop any time soon.