The Small Signs Your Team Is Growing in Confidence
There is a particular kind of question in a team meeting that makes me quietly smile. It comes from someone who, a few months earlier, would probably have saved it for our 1:1. They have noticed something about the project, a decision we are moving past, or a detail we have not quite thought through. This time, they bring it to the team themselves. I get to listen while they say what they think.
Those are some of my proudest moments as a manager, although there is rarely anything especially remarkable happening from the outside. Someone asks a question. A conversation continues. There is no promotion to announce, and nothing new to mark as done on a ticket. But I know how much has changed for that person to feel comfortable putting their thinking into the room.
Earlier on, the questions often come to me privately. Is this okay to do? Should I approach it this way? Sometimes the person asking already knows the answer. They understand the work and have thought about what they want to do, but they are hesitant to get it wrong. They want a little reassurance before they trust their own judgement. Being that person for them is part of the relationship we build, and I am glad they feel they can ask.
Over time, I start to notice that some of those small checks have disappeared. They make a decision that they would once have brought to me. They move something forward without needing me to confirm each step. When they do ask a question, it reaches a little further into the work: something we might have missed, a consequence we should consider, or a reason to pause before we carry on. Their thinking becomes more visible, and so does their confidence in it.
I think about this particularly with introverted people. Someone can be completely open in a 1:1 and much quieter in a team meeting. We have built enough trust for them to tell me what they think, including the concerns they have about a project that is moving quickly. They can see the things we have not considered. The challenge is helping them feel comfortable raising those concerns while the team can still do something about them, rather than waiting until it is just the two of us.
That takes time. Trusting me with a concern and sharing it with the whole team are different steps, even when the concern itself has not changed. I want them to know that I will have their back when they speak up. I also want them to have the space to put the thought into their own words, rather than relying on me to carry it into every conversation. The lovely part is getting to the point where they feel able to do that themselves.
When I see it happening, I mention it in our 1:1s. I want them to know I have noticed their progress, especially when it might feel quite ordinary to them. In the meeting itself, I tend to keep my pleased-manager reaction to a quiet smile. They are contributing to a discussion, and they deserve to be heard for what they are saying. My private excitement about it can wait until later.
I had not quite expected the sense of pride that comes with becoming a little less necessary. There is something rather lovely about realising that the safety blanket, which in this case happens to be me, is no longer needed for every small decision. I am still there. They can still ask for help. But there is more room for their own judgement, their own questions, and their own way of approaching the work. I get to see more of the person they are becoming.
Promotions and completed work matter, of course. They just do not capture all of this. They cannot tell me that someone who used to hold a concern until our next 1:1 now raises it early enough for the team to consider it together. They do not show the small decision made without a request for permission, or the growing confidence behind a question. Those changes are easy to miss if I am only looking at the things we formally record.
As we get towards the end of the year, those are some of the changes I want to remember. The person who speaks a little more freely. The judgement they are beginning to trust. The moments when I find myself listening to a conversation that once would have come through me. I am proud of the work they have done, and just as pleased that they are finding their own way of doing it.
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Megan Tipps
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