The Lasting Impact of People Who Come and Go

This past weekend, I had the chance to reconnect with family friends who moved to England many years ago. It had been so long since I’d seen them that the reunion felt like opening an old book I’d forgotten on the shelf. As we sat together, catching up, I found myself reflecting on just how much they had shaped my life—without even realising it.

Years ago, during one of the hardest chapters of my life, they gave me a job in their coffee shop and restaurant. At that time, I was struggling to find work as a software developer. Every rejection chipped away at my confidence until I started to believe that maybe I just wasn’t cut out for this career. Taking a job outside of tech felt like defeat. But what they gave me wasn’t just work—it was trust. They trusted me to show up, to carry responsibility, and to be part of something. That trust helped me rebuild the belief in myself I’d lost. Looking back, I don’t think they knew how much it mattered. I didn’t even realise it myself until much later.

It made me think about all the people who have passed through my life. Some were steady anchors, guiding and supporting me when I needed it most. Others, intentionally or not, made me feel small, used, or worthless. And then there were those who came into my life for just a season—like the people who cheered me on through my fitness phase, when I was running races and hitting the gym. That season has long since passed (these days I’m just proud if I manage a 15-minute walk), but the energy and encouragement they gave me then still lingers.

What I’ve come to realise is that people leave marks on us, whether they stay for years or just pass through briefly. Sometimes the mark is a scar, sometimes it’s a gift, and often it’s both. The hard part is that we rarely know in the moment which one it will be. Only with time and distance can we look back and see the impact clearly.

Reconnecting this weekend reminded me of that. It reminded me that the people who believed in me, even in the smallest ways, helped me find my footing again. And it reminded me that even the ones who hurt me shaped how I see myself and how I want to treat others.

People come and go. They move countries, change jobs, drift in and out of phases of our lives. But they leave their marks—on our confidence, on our perspective, on our future. And maybe, without realising it, we’re leaving marks on them too.