You Don’t Have to Be the Loudest One in the Room to Lead

When I was younger, I thought leaders were supposed to be loud. The ones who walked into a room and everyone turned to listen — confident, commanding, always ready with an answer. That was the picture of leadership I grew up with, and for a long time, it made me wonder if I’d ever fit the part. I wasn’t the loud one. I wasn’t the person who spoke just to fill the silence. I thought that meant I was missing something.

Over the years, I’ve realised that the pressure to be “louder” didn’t really come from anyone else — it came from me. Somewhere along the way, I equated confidence with volume. I thought being assertive meant speaking more, not necessarily saying more. But the longer I’ve led teams, the more I’ve learned that there’s a quiet kind of leadership too — one that doesn’t need to shout to be heard.

There’s a different kind of power in thoughtfulness. I’ve seen it when I pause before responding and people lean in, waiting for what I have to say. I’ve seen it in the small moments when someone tells me that having me on a project makes them feel calm — that they know things won’t go off the rails. Those moments have shown me that steadiness has weight. You don’t need to be the loudest to be trusted.

Some of the most brilliant developers I’ve worked with have been quiet ones. The kind who sit through meetings listening, taking everything in, and then — when they do speak — completely shift the direction of the conversation. There’s one developer I think about often. A year ago, they hardly said a word. They were capable but hesitant, worried their ideas weren’t “big enough” to matter. Now they’re leading a project, not because anyone asked them to, but because they saw what was needed and quietly stepped up. Watching that growth has been one of the most rewarding things about leading. It’s proof that leadership doesn’t always announce itself — sometimes it unfolds slowly, with quiet confidence.

When the loudest voices dominate a room, it can create the illusion that silence means disinterest. But that’s rarely true. What often happens is that quieter voices start to believe their thoughts hold less value — and that’s when a team starts losing some of its best ideas. I’ve noticed that the loudest people are often the most resistant to change, while the quieter ones are thinking deeply about how to make things better. They’re the ones asking the right questions, connecting the dots, seeing patterns others miss. They’re your innovators and your bridge builders — they just might not tell you that directly.

I wish more leaders understood that being introverted doesn’t mean lacking opinion or passion. It just means processing before speaking. Some of the calmest people I know are also the most empathetic, the most thoughtful, and the most innovative. Give them time, give them trust, and you’ll see the magic happen — not in grand gestures, but in consistent, meaningful action.

To me, leadership isn’t about charisma or control. It’s about empathy, care, and presence. It’s about creating a space where people feel safe enough to share ideas and take risks. Sometimes the most impactful thing you can do as a leader is to stay calm when everything feels chaotic — because that calm ripples outward. It reminds people that they don’t need to panic, that things will find their way forward.

If you’re managing a team, pay attention to who’s not speaking. Give them room. Don’t rush to fill the silence — let it stretch a little. Ask, then wait. You’ll be surprised by what comes out when people realise their voice is actually wanted. Notice the quiet acts of leadership too — the dev who mentors others behind the scenes, the one who consistently delivers, the one whose steady hand keeps things moving even when no one’s watching.

And if you’re a quieter dev reading this — know that your calm is your strength. You don’t need to become someone else to lead. Your presence brings stability. Your words carry weight precisely because you don’t use them carelessly. Lead by example, by thoughtfulness, by care. You already are.

You don’t have to be the loudest one in the room to lead. Sometimes the calmest voice changes the direction of everything — not through volume, but through presence.