I Never Planned to Be a Leader—Then It Happened Anyway

I never saw myself as a leader.

I was a Senior Developer, deeply introverted—like, full-on “social events make me sweaty and nauseous” introverted. I wasn’t the kind of person people looked to for guidance. In fact, I was often written off. More than a few people expected I’d fail at life. And honestly, I believed them for a while.

Leadership was never the goal. I was focused on improving my craft, chasing tech mastery, and dreaming about one day becoming a principal engineer or architect. Safe, behind the keyboard. Not front and center.

But somewhere along the way, something shifted.

Junior developers started coming to me—not just with coding questions, but with people problems. “How do I navigate this tricky team situation?” “Is it normal to feel like I’m not good enough?” They were looking to me for more than technical help. And then one day, a manager casually said, “I can see you becoming a team lead.”

I laughed out loud. Me? A leader? Why?

But their words stuck. And for the first time, I let myself wonder: What if I could do this? What if leadership didn’t mean being the loudest voice in the room, but the one people trusted in quiet moments?

I resisted at first, of course. My comfort zone was coding, not guiding. But a small voice inside whispered: Maybe you can lead in a different way. Maybe your quiet strength is exactly what someone else needs.

Surprise #1: Everyone Thinks You Know Everything Now

One of the biggest shocks when I stepped into a leadership role? Suddenly, people expected me to have all the answers—on day one.

Spoiler: I didn’t. I still don’t.

But I learned that leadership isn’t about always knowing. It’s about showing up, listening deeply, asking the right questions, and figuring things out with your team—not for them.

Letting Go (Just a Little)

The hardest part? Letting go of some of the code. I still jump in when things go sideways—I'm often called in as the muscle to fix what’s broken. But the daily joy of tinkering with the shiny new tech? That had to be pushed to after hours.

And yet… I stayed.

Not because leadership became easy, but because something else became even more meaningful.

Living Through Their Wins

I get to live through the milestones of my team—setting goals with them, building out their career paths, and watching them crush it. Seeing their eyes light up when they realise what they’re capable of? Nothing compares.

I’ve been there through the highs and lows, and they trust me—even knowing I don’t have all the answers. That trust is everything.

Leadership, Rewritten

These days, leadership feels more natural. I’ve learned how to navigate hard conversations, support different personalities, and adapt to each situation. But I won’t pretend it’s easy. People are complex. Every team member brings their own story, their own rhythm. And no leadership book fully prepares you for that.

But the learning is worth it. Every time.

If You Don’t Think You’re “Leadership Material”...

Let me ask you this: Why do you want to lead?

If it’s for the title, or to impress people, then maybe it’s not the right fit—yet. Leadership is about more than status. It’s about empathy, listening, and quietly showing up for others when it matters.

If you're the kind of person who notices when someone’s having a rough day, who wants to build others up even if no one sees it—then maybe leadership has already found you, too. You just haven’t put a name to it yet.